some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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