No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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