Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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