HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
