we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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