I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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