he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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