The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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