I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
They took my balls.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
