is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
