During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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