I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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