You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
