Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
