Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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