Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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