is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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