he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
