Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
