I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
