billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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