in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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