Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
