youre lurking in front of me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
