she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
