If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
