How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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