Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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