There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
