All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
