I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
