And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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