i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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