i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
