Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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