i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
