Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
