roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
