I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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