when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
