That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
