Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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