Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I CAN MOONWALK!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
