i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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