if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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