i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
