Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
