if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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