party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize