So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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