so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
