at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my poor anus
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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