My room smells like vodka and shame
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
